beginning
by syila
Summary: This background story in season 10 after episode 12, Cristina life full with loneliness, Owen easily move on with Emma, Meredith busy with her own life.
1. Chapter 1

Last few month been hard for Cristina, seeing Owen easily move on with Emma and how her twisted sister or her ex twisted sister treat her rudely, because they not in same page anymore, even though they almost figure out the miscommunication on April wedding, but she can't denied that she really hurt for everything Meredit said and did to her for the last couple weeks, she invite Owen and Emma instead of her for thanksgiving dinner , because Meredit supposed to be her person, but now not anymore, she feel so lonely and feel she not belong in that hospital anymore.

The only one besides her just Shane which she know exactly he just want take advantage for her to learn more, but she still grateful for him because encouraged her to operate baby Nathan with conduit made from 3d printer, and make her candidate for Harper Avery award this year, although until now she still not sure how that operation succeed, but one thing she still regret that she had slept with Shane, and that will never happen anymore.

That night Cristina on call and got paged, from ER, looks like row accident happened she page for victim with cardiac case, she, Webber, Alex, Calli, Shane, Leah and Jo waiting for ambulances, Owen not in hospital because he had dinner date with Emma, five ambulance came, Alex, Webber, Calli , Leah and Jo already taking care patient and then the last ambulance came with case heart failure and lots bleeding, and she see someone beside the patient with little bleed in his head, and his hand, help to close the wound bleeding, she froze for few seconds see the man, man who had left her in aisle, Preston Burke.

She suddenly awaken, and ask Shane to bring the patient to ER 3 to examine the patient, and burke came along to help patient and he speak to Cristina that the patient need to get to OR soon, Cristina just silent and say to burke that he also get injury in his head, burke said is just brush, suddenly Webber come to the room and surprise to see Burke, Burke speak to him that, the patient need to surgery soon, Webber directly ask Cristina to bring patient to the OR, she feel odd, because she the one who cardio attending in that room, but she just follow what Webber said, burke ask Webber that can he do surgery because he had been with patient since first place, Webber said okey, and Cristina will help to scrub in, she feel back to past.

Burke been so amazing in OR, he always have, the patient condition is stable, she just follow everything what burke asked, when the surgery finish, they washing hand burke talk to Cristina nice job Cristina, and Cristina answer he the one do excellence job, and she go out as soon she can, but Burke call her name again Cristina, she turn around and say, "stop it" she continue to walk, but burke follow her to the elevator, they keep silent until arrive in ER, burke try to speak again to Cristina, he said that his brush in his head and hand need stitches, she plan going to ask the intern and resident in ER but, all of them busy treat the patients, so she ask burke to sit in empty bed in ER, and prepare to do the stitches, she start the conversation with ask how he still can do surgery well with the wound, burke just smile, coz finally Cristina start to communication first, he tell her that he on the way to back home after visiting his relative, without they realize some of people steal watching them, Calli, Alex and nurses which know about they history.

When Cristina busy stitches his wound he start to say, sorry for everything he do in the past, Cristina suddenly say "no, we not gonna talk about that, right now", burke say oke, then he just watch Cristina face while she do the stitches, Owen attention get steal, when he see Calli and the nurses looking to Cristina, which is look busy do the stitches, he ask, what happen?, why looking to them that way, and Calli just said excitedly that, Cristina just have surgery together before with the ex doctor Seattle grace who win the harper avery award the Dr preston burke.

Cristina finish do the stitches, and burke asked can they have coffee together, Cristina look the ER look like all the patient have been taken care, and she also don't know why she just say okey, together they go to the cafeteria, without they notice someone watch every their move, when they sit together burke start to say sorry, and Cristina stop him, she said, stop it, you don't have to apologize, because she already over him long time ago, burke answer with no matter what, he the one hurt her, and he keep apologize, Cristina answer with smile, I forgive you long time ago, and no matter what, I became what I'm right now, also because of you, instead being a ass fiancé he also being good mentor for her, so can we be friend now? she say with smile, both of them mature enough to dealing with their past. Burke give her smile and stand to hug her, she also stand to hug him, it's been long time, but she always feel calm in his embraces, she then pull herself from him and say he need to check the patient they just operated, he said, he gonna stay in hotel tonight, can he meet her tomorrow, she said okey, because tomorrow her day off, he asked Cristina number and then hug her once more before left.

Owen see all their interaction from a far, he also don't understand why he stalked them, but its hurt his heart see Cristina smile to him, and hug her twice, he follow Cristina to the ICU, where she check her the patient condition, and ask about the surgery before that he heard Burke did the surgery without his permission, which he is not Grey Sloan hospital doctor, and if any case happen in future will jeopardize the hospital, Cristina said "because you not in the place, Webber give the permission, and the patient is critical, burke have been with the patient since beginning, beside the patient is stable", he supposed to thank him, Cristina really don't understand with Owen respond, she already tired dealing with him, so she just leave him, after finish checked the patient, Owen call her name, "Cristina, Dr Yang get back here". She just walk away ignore him.


	2. Chapter 2

Cristina walk to the on call room, to get sleep, she had been in hospital for three day in row, its 3 am in the morning, tomorrow at 11.45 am her shift over. She feel little guilty for Owen, for ignore him, but, she really tired, soon she fall to sleep.

7.30 am she start round to her patient, and finish charter, her pre-op and post-op, 10 am, Burke call her, that he going to pick her at hospital at 11.30. at 11.20 she finish all her task, she is on the way, in second floor, when she saw burke have conversation with Webber in lobby, she just go through to her room to gat change.

Burke really miss Webber, its been long time they don't communicate, Webber tell him, that he proud to him for win the harper avery award, Even himself as his formal mentor didn't get it yet, while they busy in chatting, Owen hunt just pass through in the lobby, Webber called him, and introduce him to burke, former doctor in Seattle grace, Webber introduce hunt as new chief of surgery. Burke, who the one to start introduce himself, and say apology, because, he step up of regulation last night because he did surgery without his consent, and say that Dr Yang, always by his side in every step he takes during surgery, and suddenly Webber interrupt, that, he the one, give Dr burke consent, because hunt not in place, and make sure hunt will not take any unnecessary respond to burke, Owen confuse how to respond it, because he don't expected burke such a gentlemen to initiated apologize, and just say thank you because help the patient , patient condition is stable now, and show positive respond this morning when he awake, suddenly Cristina came to interrupt that conversation, she greet them, she say "Hi Dr Webber, Dr hunt, Burke we'll leaving now".

Owen watch them leave, he wonder with his own heart, he feel upset, mad, loss and jealous with Cristina, he don't expect Burke such a nice, humble, calm, and charismatic man, he suppose to feel happy for Cristina because she finally meet a man, like Cristina did for him, she said that she happy for him, because finally meet nice woman like Emma, a perfect woman, who is nice, good cook, and full of affection which will be perfect for his future wife. He comfort himself with, assure there is no way Cristina will fall for him after everything Burke did to her in the past, and then he see Emma, came with a basket full with muffin, just passing by, he kiss her before she leave, he just sigh back to his room with a basket muffin, He can't handle his heart now.

Cristina and burke heading to joe, because they don't know where to going, in joe's they start with deep conversation, about their own life since they separate, burke tell that, "I was married 2 years ago, with the girl that my mama choose, she a perfect woman, pretty black woman, good in cook, good in clean, a real house wife, and I loved her, I thought my life is perfect, when she pregnant, then she get labor, I found my baby has blue eyes, and blonde, I really shock, but I accept her, no matter what, because I love her, but she choose runaway with the man which is our gardener, karma is bitch!, I always think that I deserve that all because I have had hurt you before" so after that I don't have any intention to built family in short future, I just date some other girl, nothing serious. So what about you, Cristina?

Cristina smile, and start to speak, just after you leave, you have no idea how awful my life because of you, Erica Hahn tortured me, make my live like in hell, it feels like more than a year, I never felt a heart in my hand, not until new cardio attending replace her, after a year you left, I met a man, in hospital, I falling in love with him, and the shooter happen, he proposed me because I had PTSD, I get pregnant, I'am not ready to have a child, oh sorry, I never want a child, then I plan to abortion without his consent, he kick me out the house, and then he cheating on me, then the plane crash, my PTSD get worse, I almost throw up to psych, after I recovered, I moved to mayo, I learn a lot from great Doctor Thomas there, just after he die in OR, I drive back to Seattle, apply back to hospital, and finally get divorce with my husband, when we sign the paper, he said "we should never married in the first place" its really hurt me, because no matter hard our relationship, I really-really love him in deep of my heart, tears falling in her eyes, and the stupid me encourage him to dating other woman, and he did, now I'am suffer lonely by myself, she end her speak with bitter smile. Burke put his hand on top her hand, and assure her, "everything going to be all right".

After sharing their sorrow, burke suggest to cook for dinner in her place, they going shopping ingredient in supermarket, burke plan to make roast chicken with his special sauce, burke buy 2 chicken, in case the food is fail, because, he said, not cooking for long time, burke surprise Cristina live in Meredith house, then she said its Alex house now, she rent a room upstairs, because burke had cook thanksgiving dinner before in that kitchen so is not odd for him, Cristina help him cook, which is new, because as long he know Cristina don't like cooking, they spending chatting during cook, about cardio which is they both love, their life, and talk about a lot of thing, which never they experience before, when they in relationship, everything feel so comfortable, they finish cook two chicken which is end up successfully delicious, they regret make too much food for both of them, Cristina ask to the bathroom, when her phone ring, she just shout to burke to answer it, its from owen hunt.

"Hello", burke answer, Owen forehead furrowed, hear burke voice from Cristina phone," where's Cristina" he asked," she is in bathroom, you have any massage?", "just tell her a new patient a baby came with H.L.H.S case same with Nathan, just admit to the hospital, so she expected to the hospital to examine the patient,". Okey I'll tell her, Dr Hunt, thank you", burke answered. Cristina out from bathroom ask who called, burke say its Dr hunt, he said that, a new patient with same case with Nathan just admitted, so you asked to go to hospital, I'll drive you there. Oke, Cristina said, but wait, I think I gonna bring this chicken for Meredit, while she pack the chicken to the Tupperware.

When they arrive, Owen been chatting with Derrek in lobby, Derrek surprise see Cristina came with Burke, he came to burke to give a hug, because he been so long not meet with him, Cristina, ask herself to the NICU, Owen follow Cristina from behind, Derrek ask Burke to his room to catch up with him. Shane already wait in NICU, Cristina examine the baby, Amelia the baby name, Cristina talk to the parent that hospital will run some test to Amelia, before they decide to operate her, she asked Shane to report every result of the test to her, Owen interrupt Cristina that Shane still in probation in OR, because of Alex dad case, so she better chose the other resident, Shane just bow his head because of guilty feeling, Cristina snap to Owen, "no, there is no other resident I believe with this case beside of Shane", he already learn his lesson. Owen, doesn't have choice just answer oke. Cristina leave them to the printer 3D room, which she see, meredit busy with paper in there, she say hi, then ask about her news, meredit give deep sigh, she so upset with Derrek and her research, Derek been asked by president with the new neuro program, and her research until now, its still failed, the baby which is need a attention from their parent, and she said she so tired, cristina came to her to hold her hand, "take a deep breath meredit everything gonna be oke", she give smile to her, and then meredit ask about her, cristina start to tell about baby Amelia just admitted, and possibility she will borrow meredit printer to print the conduit, if the surgery happen, and then she take out a Tupperware full with chicken from her bag, this is for you, I just made it, its delicious, just try it okey, meredit laugh see cristina," you don't have bribe me, cristina, I'll borrow it for you", no, it's not a bribe, I really cook it before, oke,. thanks meredit I have to go, I have friend waiting for me,. Who? Meredit asked, hmm just friend oke, bye.

Cristina call burke, she waiting in the lobby to get back home. Maredit go to the ER, she feel boring, she bring the chicken Cristina just give her, she saw Calli, Owen, and April, she offer the chicken to them they all take it, and praise how delicious the chicken, meredit say cristina made it, they all say there no way cristina cook this delicious food, hmmm wait, Calli said, its must be Burke, suddenly chicken in Owen hand taste bland for him, meredit say "Burke what?" yeah The Preston Burke, Calli answer, one more time meredit say "Burke what?".


	3. Chapter 3

Cristina arrive in home, burke accompany her to the door, he said good night, and he asked, "can he come tomorrow, before heading to Cleveland", Cristina nod, she say "thank you, said she have good time with him". Burke kisses her cheek before leave.

Cristina take a bath before sleep, she change with comfortable clothes, the check her phone, found five miscall and two texts from Meredith, she read it, looks like Meredith found out about burke, she freak out about burke, Cristina choose to ignore it, because no matter what, she will dealing with her tomorrow, Cristina start thinking about her time today with burke, to be honest, that's the first time she have spend quality time with actual people or she can call friend, because these late few month, she really have nothing, no one, all by herself, loneliness really suck her up, until she did stupid thing slept with resident, she take big sigh, then she recall moment when she met again with burke, she proud to herself because can deal with the past, she doesn't have any feeling for burke anymore, because all of her mind and heart full of Owen, for her, burke just old friend from the past and accidentally come in present. But she can deny she feel happy meet him, then she take deep sigh again, remember how she looks pathetic by people in hospital, that she really desperate back to ex fiancé which leave her in aisle, because Owen already move on with Emma, but she don't care, because she is Cristina Yang, she is amazing woman which already through lot a hard time, this not gonna bite her, even a bit.

Owen walk to on-call room, he tired and sleepy, when he lie down in the bed, his mind went to Cristina, imagine her spend time with burke this evening, he can see happiness in Cristina eyes when she with burke, something that miss in Cristina eyes in latest few month, he know that's Cristina hurt when see him with Emma, but this what her want. He just follow what she want, and he can deny that he feel happy with Emma, Emma total opposite with Cristina, she full of affection, nice, take care of him, but Cristina always in his heart, always have. But he know that they not gonna work out together, because he really want to build family, he want a child, that something he never get from Cristina, he always notice a lonely eyes from Cristina, and he knew that she and Meredith have big fight, that he know Cristina really hurt lately, but nothing he can do, he have Emma right now, he just assure himself that, Cristina will figure it out by herself because she is strong and independent woman. But then he remember one more time about Burke, he hate see burke with Cristina, he admit he is selfish, but thats truth, he not ready see Cristina move on with other man.

Burke arrive in his room, he freshen before go to bed, he thinking about Cristina, he feel Cristina have lot a changes in good way, she look more mature, calm, charismatic and pretty, but he can see a sadness and loneliness in her eyes, he wonder what kind of man that make her that way, he realize, he don't have any space in Cristina heart anymore. He also not sure whether he still have feeling for her, but one thing for sure he care about Cristina, he can see Cristina being hurt and lonely, and he just want Cristina know, she is not alone, she has me as friend to rely on.

Burke arrive at Cristina house at 9 am, he bring breakfast for her, they eat together, then Burke say he have appointment with his friend, and not sure whether he can say goodbye before leave to Cleveland, Cristina hug him before he leave. She then busy laundry her clothes and prepare go to hospital.

Cristina feel glad that when she arrive at hospital Meredith shift is over, so she doesn't have to deal with her now, she check all her patient and then check baby Amelia, she ask Shane to prepare the surgery tomorrow, and asked Shane to start print the conduit, she have other surgery in one hour, the surgery take about 7 hours, she finish at 8.30 PM, she felt tired, heading to on call room, fall sleep.

Burke enter the hospital bring food for Cristina, he want have proper goodbye with Cristina before heading to Cleveland, he then go search Cristina, he ask the nurse where is Cristina, then he look to the on call room, although he has been long time not walk in that hospital he still remember where the on call room, he see Cristina fall in deep sleep, he remember where first time he have sex with Cristina in that room, he then see a beautiful sleep face Cristina, he want to kiss that full lips, but then he realize, that a not a right thing to do, so he just kiss her forehead then whisper a goodbye to her ear. He then back to nurse station across the on call room, he leave a food for Cristina, Owen just cross and, greet Burke what he doing there, Burke answer that he want to say goodbye to Cristina before he back to Cleveland, but Cristina sleep, and he don't want to wake her, so he leave food for Cristina in nurses station. Owen couldn't hide his smile knowing that burke don't have proper goodbye with Cristina, and then suddenly Cristina out from on call room, she just got paged, and surprise to see Burke, she then come to burke ask what he doing here, he answer, he want to say goodbye before leave, Cristina give a sincerely smile to him and hug him, Burke then kiss Cristina lips, then say goodbye, and say that he gonna call Cristina when he arrived, Owen witness all that scene he frozen and without he realize his hand fisted.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N** I'm really sorry for grammatical error, English is not my native language, i write this fanfic just for release my craziness of crowen.

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Cristina startled with Burke kiss, but she realize that just simple peck on her lip, they parted soon because Cristina have to check her patient.

Owen holding breath to control his emotion see the entire scene, then he just rush to his room before doing anything stupid.

After check the patient Cristina get dinner that Burke gave her, then suddenly Meredith sit in front of her, "so, tell me story about Burke". " there nothing special actually Meredith, he came in with patient because of accident, we did surgery together, then catch up everything happened since we separated, and now he is gone, back to where he should be". "What? Just that, I thought something special happened", Meredith responds. "Nope, Meredith, nothing special". Cristina answered.

Next day, Cristina schedule to operate baby Amelia, Owen come to her, ask about live stream the surgery, because last time not going well, and Cristina politely answer, she can't do it right now, she need to focus, last time is too much distraction for her, and she promises live stream for next surgery.

Surgery baby Amelia going well, she ask Shane to monitor her condition for next 24 hours, on her way to on-call room, she got pages from ER, she rush to the ER, she see Owen, Derek, April and Calli already waiting for ambulance, then patient come, its Owen mother, lily, she fell in stair, she has brain hemorrhage, broken rib, and feet. Cristina rush to the ER room see whether she can do, she can imagine how anxious Owen, lily is his only family left, Owen only stand there, because he doesn't allow examining her. Derek order to prepare OR 1, ask Cristina to stay with Owen, while pushing the bed to the elevator.

Owen walk away from ER, Cristina follow him from behind because she is worry Owen will get anxiety attack, Owen enter the closest on-call room, and slam the door, Cristina open the door and then lock it, she see Owen breath started increase, she call him, " Owen, are you alright?" , " get out, Cristina", Owen shout. Cristina came closer to him, hug him from behind, "it's okay Owen, take a deep breath, she is going to be fine, she in right hand, Derek will save her", Owen wriggle at first, and then grab Cristina hand hard, after few minute Owen breath start normal, he then sit on bed, Cristina follow to sit beside him," I'm so afraid Cristina, afraid to lose her". Cristina grab Owen hand then kiss it, to calm him, and say " I know, I understand Owen, Derek must be do best to operate your mom now, are you want to go to gallery now, I will accompany you". "No, I'm not ready yet", then he saw Cristina wrist bruise because of him, "sorry, I hurt you", "no, it's okay". During the conversation their face so close, until they can feel their breath for each other, Owen grab Cristina face closer than kiss her passionately, Cristina also respond the kiss with passion, she miss him so much, they started to open their navy scrubs, he lay Cristina on the bed, kiss her lips, neck, hand, making out for quite a while, both let out a sigh, genuinely enjoying each other, because deep down of their heart they still love each other, he thrusts his body to her, so that finally inside her, he start with slowing pace, he hold her in her arm tighter, and increase his pace, their body move together as one, his eyes meet her as they feel each other warmth, with no word, both of their body erupt as one, his body begins to shake as he release, and again he embrace her tightly to kiss her lip, she hug him back tightly, giving him kisses in his shoulder, because of the intense feeling tears streaming from Cristina eyes, Owen then wipe the tears from her eyes, then kiss her eyes. Suddenly they hear page is vibrate, it's Owen pages it from ER, Owen in rush wearing his scrubs, he kiss Cristina forehead before leave and said "I 'am sorry".

Owen arrived in ER, he saw Emma waiting for him with worry face, she then hug him tightly, and Owen hug her back, Cristina watch it from a far, it's really hurt her, just few minute ago he was in her embrace, and now he in Emma arm, she then go to NICU to check baby Amelia, there nobody in there, she check her condition, her vital is stable, then she rub Amelia heads, in her heart she wish her to grow health and have a wonderful life, without she realize tears once more time just stream from her eyes without her control, and then Avery just pass by see Cristina crying, he then come by to Cristina, he asked" are you okay? ". "It's okay Avery, I'm fine". "Cristina, if you need someone to talk, you can talk to me". "thank you so much for your concern Avery, but not now, maybe next time" she give him a bitter smile, then she walk away .


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**: I'm sorry for grammatical error, English is not my native language.

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Cristina went to nurse station, to check all her post-op written by Shane, then go to her room to start make journal article of her surgery, she plan to publish is a soon as possible. Without her realize she spending about four hours in her room, then she saw Derek passing her room, she call him, then ask about Owen mother condition, Derek shake his head, "I'll do my best, I succeeded take out all of bleeding in her head, but I'm not sure she will make it, because she too late came to hospital, now she in ICU, she just survive because of support system". Then he excuses himself because he has to pick up Bailey and Zola in child care.

Cristina can't imagine about Owen feeling now, she then walk in hospital to search Owen, because she can't find him in ICU, then she see Owen escort Emma to the lobby, she waiting for him, then follow him to chief room, she intent to say her condoles.

She can see Owen desperation from outside the room, she knock, and then enter the room, "I heard about your mom from Derek, I'm sorry Owen", Owen let a big sigh, " you know what, I regret the most?, I can't fulfill her wish, her simple wish to have a grandchild". "If just, you didn't kill our child before, she can gone with smile now", his breath start increasing because hold his emotion, then suddenly he shout to her "you ruin me, Cristina, you, ruin my life" " I regret that I have had loved you, and I wish that you disappear from my life", he try to calm him self and said " don't even bother to attend my mother funeral, you not welcome for it". Cristina really shock with all Owen word, her heart is so hurt until tears just fall from her eyes, all she can say just "I'm so sorry Owen, I never intent to ruin your life, I'm really sorry", and then she walk out from the room.

She wipes her tears soon she out from the room, because she don't want make a scene to entire hospital, only one person she need right now, she need Meredith, she walk fast to Meredith room because she can't hold her tears any longer, she so grateful Meredith in her room alone, she enter her room, but Meredith seem not in good mood, "I lost my research funding", "they just confirm that my research is fail". Meredith let a big sigh. Cristina shock hears the news, "I'm sorry Meredith, but you did your best". Meredith answer "I really a big embarrassment for my mother, I just ordinary doctor, I can't imagine how shame her to see me now, she said didn't raise me to be ordinary doctor, but I 'am". "No Meredith, you're not ordinary doctor, you just need time and focus, maybe now, it's not the time, but trust me, your time will comes". "Maybe in next few years, when Zola and bailey already capable to take care them self", "yeah and then you already get your second Avery award" she respond with bitterly, " why you have talk like that, Meredith ?"." just get out Cristina, seeing your face right now, just make me feeling worst about myself". "But, Meredith we have promises to push each other to be better, forever". "Just cut the crap Cristina, I need you out from my room now".

Cristina can't handle her heart now, she being hated by two people most important in her life, she just wandering in hospital until she arrive where, she used to hang out when her intern and resident, there no one there, she can't help anymore her crying burst in the bed sitting alone by herself. Avery just buy snack in vending machine, he hear someone cry, he saw Cristina sobbing, he then come closer sit silently beside her, she put her head in Avery shoulder, he then hug her, she hug him back and let all her tears in Avery chest." I never feel this lost since I'm nine, when my dad died in accident, and my own hand felt his heart stop beating, I feel useless, when I can't do anything for the one I love, then they just gone from my life, and now Owen and Meredith want me to disappear from their life, I can't, they are all my life, I don't have anything in my life anymore" " i feel useless and meaningless". "No Cristina, you have you, you are the most bad ass chick I have ever meet, you are talented and brilliant surgeon, you strong and independent woman, you have to trust yourself", "I know you through a hard time now, but it will pass, I think you just need day off to composure yourself". Cristina try to be strong and give smile to avery, thank you so much, I hope you can erase the memory that I cry in your chest before, because I want you still consider me the as the bad ass chick you ever knew, then they both let a laugh together. But Avery know, that's just a fake laugh, she just try to looks strong.

Cristina try to stay strong, she intent to back to her room, while in her way she hear, Calli, April, and Arizona chat in room talking about her, she can hear clearly that they compare her with Emma, they talk about how fun if Emma work in this hospital, because she is really nice, fun and bake a cake, not like Cristina dark, bitter, arrogant, and how perfect Owen and Emma together. All the thing happen today is more than enough to Cristina to make her realize that she doesn't belong in that hospital anymore, by the time she enter her room , first thing she do is make a resignation letter.

At morning, she walk to the chief room, Owen not there, she just put her letter on his desk, then check all her patient, she so grateful that she doesn't have any surgery patient anymore, last patient she visit is Amelia, Shane already waiting in NICU, Amelia condition is progress than expected, Cristina felt happy about it, in next few days Amelia can back home, then Cristina ask Shane to get lunch with her, while they eat, Cristina start the conversation "Shane, I'm sorry, I can't teach you anymore, I just put resignation letter before, you are a talented student, you will make a good doctor, don't ever give up, because there still lot of challenges ahead, and I want to thank you, for pushing me about Nathan case, if not because of you, I'll never make it", "and about brooks case, you have to try to overcome it, I understand your feeling, trust me, because I been there before, my attending husband die in my table, all that's happened to you, have to make you stronger", Shane start to teary, " but Dr Yang, why you leave it's your hospital". Cristina answer "there comes a point where it all become too much, when we get to tired to fight anymore, so we give up". "Wipe your tears "whiny", it's disgusting, I don't want people know I leave, you the only person about it for now, and I have one favor to ask, can you help me pack my book in my room, and bring it to my car, please try to not make it too obvious okay", Shane nod, then they walk together to her room, fortunately, hospital looks empty because most of them attend Owen's mother funeral, and the rest of them have surgery, after finish packing her belonging, Cristina, when to change her scrub, because she in hurry she doesn't realize her lab coat left. Shane already put all the box in baggage, then he ask, can he hug her, Cristina smile, then open her arm for hug, Shane come closer to her to hug her, "I feel honor have learns from you Dr Cristina yang", Cristina answer it by "for now, you are the best student I have ever teach" Cristina let a laugh," I hope someday we can work together, as a fellow". Okay let me now Shane, I have to go".

First Cristina arrive on Alex house, she pack all her stuff in her room, put it on the box, and then pack her stuff in fire house, she in rush because next few hours expedition car will arrive, after put all her stuff on the expedition car, and give her key car to the agent expedition, she will get plane because she doesn't has energy to long drive after lack of rest these three days, she take a deep breath when her taxi arrived in airport, it's will be her first time get plane since the accident flight crashes, after pay the fare, she enter the lobby of airport, she try pull herself together, she doesn't has any other choice, it's the beginning of her new life, she doesn't has time to panic, or dealing with her PTSD, in her heads right now only fill with last word of Owen and Meredith told her, strangely all of those word make her power through it all, finally she arrive in front of big dark wood door, she push the bell, then someone open it," Cristina"." Mom, I 'am home" then she hug her tightly.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**: English is not my native language, please understand grammar error, and i put new character in here, Dr Jason William, I picture him like Mike Rufallo.

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Cristina", Helen shock seeing his daughter in front of her is been few years since she accompany her in Seattle hospital after her pregnancy case, Cristina look so lost and sad, its takes a few minutes for her to let the hug from her mother. "Come in, we just about to get dinner", Cristina drag her suitcase, then hug Saul when she enter the house, Helen ask Martha to prepare one more plate for Cristina, and prepare Cristina room in second floor, Cristina so hungry and tired, she just eat, and didn't say anything during dinner, Helen try break the silent, " Cristina, I'm really sorry, we didn't know you will coming today, but tomorrow me and Saul will have Europe cruises trip, it's will takes few weeks, are you okay being in home by yourself?". "it's okay mom, have fun there, I'm fine". Suddenly her phone ring, its Shane, "what happen Shane? Its Amelia okay?", "Amelia fine Dr yang, I just get email from Harper Avery foundation, you win the Harper Avery this year, you expected to attend ceremony at new York in the next two day"." Its anybody knew about this?"." No, Dr Yang, the information is confidential until official announcement, they email it now, so you can prepare before the ceremony. Congratulation Dr Yang, I'm so proud of you"," thank you Shane, thank you so much for supporting me for this long, I'll really appreciate it". Cristina end the conversation with Shane, and say "Mom, Saul, I win Harper Avery this year", "oh my god, it's amazing news Cristina", Saul and Helen congratulate her, then both of them hug Cristina and say, how proud them of her.

Cristina enter her room, she unpack her clothes from the suitcase, she wonder about her feeling, she can't feel anything , she just won the most precious award in the country, but she only feel empty. Then her mom come and sit on the bed beside her, she lay her head on her mother laps, the she caress her curly hair,", Cristina eyes start teary, she grab her mother hand then kissed it, she start say, "mom, are you regret have me as your daughter?, are you a shame of me?". "no, I never regret having you, when you born is one of the happiest moment in my life, even though when you grow up, I know exactly that I'm not your favorite, but I'm your mother, I always love you, maybe you just don't like the way I love you, but is fine, as long as you happy, I'm happy too", and " I don't know what happen with you in Seattle, but I do know you really hurt right now, it's hurt me seeing you like this, and I never shame of you, I always proud of you even without your Harper Avery award". "Your job is saving people life there nothing more awesome than that, now you already accomplice you achievement, you already win the most precious award, what else you will do Cristina?"," as your mother I only hope you start thinking about yourself, I want you to have family, place where, no matter how hard your life, you have place to come back, like right now, you have me, I don't want see you only live by yourself after I die , you never can rely to your friend because they have their own life, I want you to live your life, start having family, because die without family is one of awful thing in the world", "and, are you sure, you let us leave tomorrow, because if you need me, I can cancel it", " no, mom, I'll stay here from now, I'll not come back to Seattle, I'll be here when you comeback from your trip". "Okay then, you can ask Martha to help you unpack you stuff later"," I love you, Cristina", she kiss her forehead," I love you too, mom".

After her mom leave the room, Cristina promise herself to try to better person, she don't want experience the feeling being alienated by people she cared anymore, Cristina woke up from her deep sleep, after freshen, she walk down stair, find her mom and Saul have breakfast, before heading to their trip, just few hours after let them go, the expedition car bring her stuff come, Cristina with Martha busy to arrange her stuff, she just unpack her clothes and some important book, and the rest of it, she put on garages, after that, she went shopping to buy a dress for ceremony Harper Avery award, she want to look pretty, because there is possibility she will be cover of the health magazine, she already booking ticket to new York tomorrow morning.

Please welcome the winner of Harper Avery this year is Dr Cristina Yang, Cristina walk to podium, she presented the award for her parent, and she said thank you for Meredith, Owen, Dr Thomas, Dr Teddy Altman, Shane and all the doctor and staff on Grey Sloan Memorial, which she mention that all of them consider family to her.

After have some interview with few magazines, Cristina when to get a drink on the bar, then she heard someone speak to her from behind "I little upset, that you didn't mention me on your speech". Cristina turns around and find Burke smile with open arm in front of her, she then closer to hug him, " well, you didn't mention mine, why do I have to mention your?" Cristina laughs in Burke hug. Burke answers" Well, fair enough, how about we promises to each other, whether if one of us win our second Harper Avery award, we will mention each other, okay?". "Okay" Cristina smiled," I'm so glad meet you here, I don't really know anybody in this room". "well, just so you know, all people in this room is great doctor, and actually I'm pretty surprise that knew you win the award", " well, you always underestimated me sir, but I prove you wrong now", Cristina answer it by laugh, "yeah I know, and I'm proud of you Cristina". "Thank you, I'am proud of me too, I guess". Cristina smiled, after spends four days in deep of sorrow, Cristina finally feels happy, she spends a good time chatting with burke. She asked advice from burke about job, she get lot job offer, after she mention that she resign from Seattle to get new challenges of her career on her interview, But unfortunately Burke have to leave that night to Cleveland he had emergency call of his patient.

Cristina has morning flight back to California, on the plane she start to feel anxious, she try hard to calm herself, she feel so relieve when the plane land safely, she walk fast to get off the plane as soon as possible, when on the stair someone push her from behind, she can't control her balance, Cristina fall on the ground, she try to stand but she can't, until some man help her up, and give his arm to help her walk, she said thank you, "Are you okay, Dr Yang?", Cristina surprise, "Sorry, do, I know you?", " I guess no, but we've met before last night on Harper Avery ceremony" btw congratulation for winning the award", "thank you, but I'm sorry I met so many people, I don't recall you", "I'm Dr Jason William, neurosurgeon", "I'm Cristina yang", Cristina offer her hand to shake, "are you bring your car Dr Yang", "no. I'll take a taxi", " you can drive with me, I'll bring you to hospital, I think you have to check you foot Dr Yang", " I think so, it hurt so much", "okay, I'll help you to get your suitcase, which one is you suitcase?"." Mine is light brown leather". Then he help Cristina to sit, he get his handicraft from his pocket, then pull Cristina hair to back of her ear, then wipe a blood from Cristina forehead, Cristina startled, because their face is so close, and he is handsome , "hmm, thank you Dr William", "Your welcome Dr Yang". Then he go, to take her suitcase, after put the suitcase and help her sit on the car, William start to drive, on the way William start conversation, "I'm sorry to ask this, I see you look anxious during the flight, are you still have post trauma after the plane crashes?" ." how do you know about my plane crashes? Are you stalking me?" William laugh hear Cristina respond," no, I'm not, I just checking you on Internet, it surprise me I found lot about you, the shooter, the plane crashes, after read about you, I can accept that you beat me on win the award this year,". "What? are you the candidate Harper Avery this year? Well, I'm sorry, I steal the award from you, please no hurt feeling ". "No, you deserve it Dr Yang", they have nice conversation on the way. After arrive on hospital, William carry her to ER, Cristina try to reject it, but he insist because he worry her foot will get worst, William love the smell of her shampoo, and admire how beauty Cristina, while put Cristina on the bed, he intentionally bury his face on her hair, then he call a orthopedic to examine her, while orthopedic checking her, one more doctor approach, "Cristina, are you okay? What happen to you?"," Izzie".


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: English is not my native language, please understand grammatical error

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'Izzie, you work here?". "yes, I'm trauma surgeon now" they both hug, "you knew each other?" William ask , "yeah, we spent intern and residen together in Seattle" ,"good, Dr Steven, I trust our VIP patient to you, please make sure give excellence care to the Harper Avery winner this year"," what? You winning the Harper Avery, Congratulation Cristina".

Izzie clean the wound and scratched on Cristina face and hand, "what happen with you", " I fell on plane stair", " so how long you know Dr William?"." I just knew him, he is the one helping me when I fell, why?", "nothing, btw, what are you doing in here? I mean in California, are you take vacation after winning the award?". Cristina let a deep sigh ,"no, I just resign from hospital four days ago, I'm practically jobless right now, two days ago I move in to my parent house, I'm starting over Izzie". Izzie could see the sadness on her eyes, she grab her hand and say "it's okay Cristina, I'm here for you now", Cristina feel so relieve met Izzie, met someone she knew, because she really a friend right now.

Cristina get into her room after takes the X-ray and CT-scan, then Izzie comes with the result, " you have a lateral malleolus fracture, the good news it just small fracture, you don't have a surgery, but you really need bed rest, I'll send doctor to put the cast on your ankle later, do you want me to call your mom?', "no, my mom on vacation Izzie, I think I'll stay here for a while"," okay then, are you sure, u didn't want to take a pain killer, seeing the bruise on your foot, I can't imagine the pain you bear", Izzie chuckling, "are you forget I can tolerate the pain", "yeah. Sorry I'm forgot, I have to go to check my other patient I'll be back later", "okay, but before you leave could you please help me take my bag on Dr William car".

Cristina turn on her phone, a minute later, there's call from Shane, "yes, what's up Shane?". " I want report Amelia condition Dr Yang, Dr Jeff approve that she can come home tomorrow", " that's good, thank you for keep updating me her condition", "how are you Dr Yang?","not good Shane, I fell on plane stair, I broke my ankle, start having fever and I got headache, I need a rest now, bye Shane" she hung up the phone, then comes another call, its Avery, " "yes, Avery"," I heard you get the Harper Avery award, congratulation Cristina, how are you, I didn't see you this few day, I'm glad that take my advice to have day off". "well, thank you Avery, I'm not good right know, I just fell on plane stair this afternoon, I broke my ankle, I'm in hospital right now", Avery shock hear the news, "what, are you injury severe? Where are you now? When you will come back?". "I'll not coming back Avery, I already put my resignation letter four days ago". "but, what about the hospital Cristina?"."I'm sorry Avery, I plan to sell my share, are you interesting to buy it? If not, I'll try to search the buyer, I knew this all must be shocking you, but I hope your understand about my condition, and could you please send me your email, I think I'll turn off my phone for few days, my phone can't stop buzzing, I need a rest". "Okay Cristina, take care".

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Owen try to sleep on his trailer, but he can't, it's been four night he didn't get sleep, he still grieving his mother death, Emma comes, bring him food, she worry about his condition, she try her best to accompany him, while they get dinner together, Emma convey her concern "Owen, I think you need help, you look different, it's been few days you didn't sleep, you drowning yourself on ER, you need a rest." Owen answer, "I'm fine Emma, I still grieving my mom, I need time", " I know, but you have to try let it go, you didn't look like yourself lately". Owen get upset hearing Emma word, "I said, I'm fine Emma" then he throw a glass to the floor. Emma shock seeing Owen respond, she take her purse, then walk away from Owen trailer. Owen don't chasing her, he still try to control his emotion.

In morning, Emma came to ER to find Owen, she want to apologize for pushing him last night, then she meet Calli, Emma greet her, and she ask about Owen, Calli start to tell her concern seeing Owen lately, "yeah, I feel worry seeing him, he look depressed, I'm scared that his PTSD relapse, I still remember when I found him choking Cristina, if didn't stop him, maybe Cristina is died now", then Calli realize that she over spoken, she try to make it right, "but, Owen if fine now, that was long time ago, you don't have to worry about that anymore, he just grieving about her mother right now". But it's too late, Emma really shock about what she just heard. Calli can't control her guilty, she excuse herself to attending lounge.

Calli enter the attending lounge, Meredith, Arizona, April busy chatting, the Calli ask them, "where is Cristina? I didn't see her this few days", all of them say "I don't know". Then Calli said "sometimes is good didn't see her around, I can't stand her sarcasm, and bitterness". All of them laughing, then Derek and Avery comes, Derek look upset, "what happen with you guys? Why you all treat her that way?," ."I can't stand it anymore, Meredith what happen with you, she is your best friend you treat her like a crap this few month, don't you remember you been through lot thing with her, she saving your life, my life, she accompany you during hard time, the shooter, plane crashes and lot of moment I even can't mention, and you Calli you also own her a life, she saving you when you get accident, after you alienated her this few month she still mention you all as her family", then Derek throw a magazine with Cristina in the cover, all of people silent hearing Derek words, "The first person she thank is you Meredith", Meredith start teary reading the article, she then call Cristina phone she just get voice mail, then Avery speak, last night I called her, she in hospital, she fell on plane stair, and broke her ankle, but she didn't mention to me where is she, and one last thing, she said she already put her resignation latter five days ago, and my mom already decided to buy her share of this hospital. All people startled with the news, Meredith start shaking and sobbing, she even can't stand by herself, Derek soon catch her before she break down.

Owen busy with paper in his room, he been busy in ER in lately, then he find envelope with Cristina name on it, when he going to open it, Emma knock and enter his room, Owen immediately hug her, and apologize about what happen last night, Emma try to let Owen hug, then she said" The reason why I separated with my ex husband is domestic violent, and what you did last night is thing that he used to did in our married, beside beaten me", Owen answer "but, I'll never hurt you Emma", "I just heard about you have had PTSD, and you almost killing your ex wife before, I'm sorry Owen, I fell in love with you because I think you are a nice, lovable and gentleman, but I can't do this anymore, I'm sorry", "are you broke our relationship Emma?", "yes, I'm sorry Owen, I just can't" then Emma walk away crying. Owen really sad, but he know nothing he can do for her, then he open the envelope, he really shock read a Cristina resignation letter, then suddenly Meredith come to his room shouting "what did you do to her?", Meredith shout on her sobbing. "she'll never leave Seattle if you didn't do anything to her, it's been five days she gone, why don't you prevent her to leave? And now she in injury, I even didn't know about her condition, Screw you Owen! ". Derek tries to drag Meredith out from Owen room, before she doing any more harm to him. Owen feel devastated after hearing all of Meredith word, he try to call Cristina but he just got voice mail.

Owen in rush walk out from his room looking for Shane, because he the only person besides Cristina lately, while Shane busy brag about his name being mention by Cristina on the article with other residen, suddenly Owen drag him, "what happen sir?", "do you know Dr yang leave?","no, sir, I just know she take day off", Shane lied, "yesterday I call her, and she said that, she got accident, she fell on plane stair, her ankle broken, she get headache and fever, that's all I know sir", "do you know where is she?",' no sir, I swear I don't know". Owen then go to Cristina rooms, he only find a empty room, there no more book in cabinet, he see Cristina lab coat, he took it, then kiss it, he still can smell Cristina perfume, then he remember all last word he said to Cristina, he can't imagine how much he hurt Cristina, in addition that Cristina right now in real injury make him feel worst, he was hurting his love of life, he can't hold his heart anymore, he sobbing while hug Cristina coat, he feel so lost and deep regret.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N : English is not my native language, I'm sorry for grammatical error. it just short chapter, i've been busy with my assignment from school.

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Cristina trying to sleep, but she can't, her mind went to Seattle, she miss Meredith and Owen so much, she wonder if she overreact of this all occasion, Owen mother just died, Meredith lost her funding, she suppose to be there for them not leaving them this way, but they hurt her is so much, she so confuse, tears just fall from her eyes, then Izzie suddenly comes, "Cristina", she give her a tissue, "what happen with you? Tell me". Cristina took the tissue, Cristina start sobbing, "I miss Owen and Meredith", "if you miss them so much, why you leave them in first place?". "because they want me to disappear from their life, they say my existence only make their life worst". "what? I don't get it, you have to tell me from the beginning Cristina". "just few month after I married with Owen two years ago, I got pregnant, I didn't want to have a child, but he did, I make appointment to terminate the baby without his consent, he so upset, but he keep accompany me when I terminate the baby, he still can't accept that I kill his baby, he cheat on me, then the plane crashes happen, I leave him to mayo, but after my mentor die I come back to Seattle, then we get divorce, our relationship get better after that, but then I realize I never good enough for him, he want a child, that something I can't give him, so I let him free, he date another woman, he so happy with her, they perfect for each other, I can't lie, that's hurt me because I love him so much, I can accept that all, as long Owen happy, I'm happy for him, but then last week his mom admit to hospital she got brain hemorrhage, she didn't survive, then Owen shout me, he said that I ruin him, I ruin his life, he want me to disappear from his life and then Meredith, since she have bailey, her second child, she being different, its start when I say she lack in focus being surgeon because she have to take care two baby, she start being competitive with me, until she lost his research funding, I try my best to be supportive friend, but she only say, seeing me make her feeling worst about herself". Cristina continue her sobbing, "they both are two most important people my life Izzie, but now they look me like I'm nothing ".

"Okay, stop it Cristina, enough with the cry, they don't deserve your tears, don't you realize, you don't have anything left there, you even not in their life anymore, you look pathetic crying for them like this". Cristina shock hearing Izzie word, "Cristina yang I know, is not like this, you are the most heartless and mean person I have ever met, come on Cristina you are better than this, for this long I hate seeing your arrogant and mean attitude, but now, I realize I hate you more when I see you whine like this, you are amazing doctor, the youngest doctor have ever win Harper Avery, you have bright future ahead, besides you are not alone anymore, you have me now, so this is will be the last time I saw you cry for them, okay". Cristina smile hearing Izzie word, "okay I promise, Izzie would you accompany me sleep just for tonight?, she give space for Izzie to sleep beside her, "okay, I'll be your Meredith 2.0 only for tonight" Izzie chuckling, then sleep beside Cristina, she hold Izzie arm, then in fifteen minute she fall asleep.

Izzie get from the bed, then she take cristina phone from the drawer, she take her phone out from the room, then turn it on, she has 49 voice mail, Izzie delete all of them, she knew what she did is wrong, but she knew, it all for Cristina courtesy, after that she return her phone to drawer.

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Meredith sitting by herself in her bed room, tears keeps falls from her eyes, her heart full with regret, she lose part of herself, she keep trying to call Cristina, but she only get voice mail, then Derek comes, after put bailey and Zola on the bed, Derek pull her on his chest, he try to comfort her, she start sobbing again "I'm really horrible person, I'm the one who make her leaves, last word I said to her is seeing her make me feel worst about myself, I really hurt her Derek, what I have done, I'm so worry about her Derek". "There nothing we can do anymore Meredith, maybe it's better for her to leave, she being outcast for this long, even you are not comfortable with her anymore lately, just let her leave Meredith". Hearing Derek word make Meredith want to punch his face, she out from the bed, then went to kitchen, she need tequila, while drink she realize, nobody in this world understand her like Cristina, she just losing her soul mate, then she start sobbing again.

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Owen went to Alex house, to check Cristina, he still don't believe that her leave, when he go up stair he only found empty bed, then he go to fire house, he also found the same, no more Cristina stuff in that house, but then he see set a paper on the table, he took it, its Cristina letter for him, " I leave this house for you, this is the last thing I can give for you, I'm sorry that I ruin your life, I never mean it, I love you so much, please be happy with Emma, I'll disappear from now, take care Owen". He shaking read the letter, he realize now that Cristina really leave, he star sobbing in the bed while hugging Cristina pillow, until he fall asleep for the first time since his mother die, when he wake on the morning, he promise himself that he will find Cristina, he will fight for her, all the thing happen make him realize there no woman in this world make him happy besides her.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: English is not my native language, please understand the grammatical error.

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It's been third day, Cristina on hospital, today she'll back home, during in hospital Izzie always accompany her, William also sometime comes by to her room, he offer Cristina a job, turn out William is chief of surgery in that hospital, and he also win Harper Avery two years ago, Cristina found him attractive, he smart doctor, handsome, nice and charismatic, but she then realize, he is too perfect, even for Owen she is not good enough, so she also thought, that she not good enough for him, beside she decided to take job in England, she knew if want to start over, she have to out from the state, she already move on, the Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital just being her past and right now remember all people in that hospital just make her sick, she already change her number cell phone, next week she have appointment with Ms Avery about transaction of her share in new York, and she will depart to London from new York.

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Owen still try to reach Cristina, but her phone number is not available anymore, he tried to ask Avery but, he also don't know anything about the transaction of Cristina share with his mother, he try to call all famous hospital in new York whether Cristina been admitted there, he found nothing, then he try to search her in internet, turn out he found recent photo Cristina on Harper Avery award, she stand with few famous of cardiothoracic surgeon in the country, she smile brightly, burke stand beside her, with his hand on her waist, Owen let big sigh, he can't believe that, Cristina leave Seattle, then comes to burke. He thinking hard, if she comes to burke, why she didn't mention him on her speech, but Cristina mention his name, not burke, he want to call Cristina mother, but he really doesn't know anything about her, because he knew Cristina hate her so much, so he believe Cristina also not with her, Owen found a dead end.

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A week past, Cristina busy to prepare everything before depart to London, today her schedule for follow up check her ankle, she also want to say good bye to Izzie and William, because tomorrow she will heading to New York.

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Owen drown himself in ER, he didn't know what to do anymore to find Cristina, then Bailey comes by, "do you find anything about Cristina?", "No, Dr bailey", "are you tried call her mother?"." I don't know her number", "what? You don't know, why you didn't ask me for this long", then she give the number, Owen try to call, but the number is out of service, he feel hopeless, then bailey suggest him to search about Saul Rubenstein oral surgeon in Baverly hills, he found the home number, he call it, Martha answer, "hallo, Rubenstein resident here", "hallo, can I speak with miss yang?". "Oh Sorry, miss Yang just go to hospital to check her ankle, she will come back in next few hours, you have massage sir?". Owen so happy finally he find Cristina, "no, thank you so much" then he hung up, he have address from internet, he plan to go to airport as soon as possible, but suddenly ER just got call for row accident, all vacant doctor expected in ER, he has obligation to take in charge, Owen try to comfort himself, he already has Cristina address, she will not going anywhere, after all patient been taking care, he asked April to take charge in ER, he so tired after operate two patient , but the image that he will meet Cristina erase all of his tiredness, soon he go to the airport, he buy the first flight to los angles, after two hours he depart on airport, he walk fast to get taxi, then he bump to blonde woman, he said sorry without see her, but then someone call him" Dr Hunt", he turn around, "Steven, sorry, but I in rush to meet Cristina". "you miss her Dr Hunt, her plane already take off", "what?" Owen shock. "you, don't believe me?, I'll drive you to her home".

They just silent in the car until arrive at Cristina house, " you can ask her maid, Martha, I'll wait you in the car", Owen then push the bell, Martha out from the house, she confirm that Cristina already went to airport few hours ago, he loss of all his energy, he back to Izzie car, "are you ready to talk now Dr Hunt?". Owen just keep silent, "okay then, I'll talk, you just need to hear me"," I met Cristina two weeks ago in hospital, she broke her ankle, not only her ankle broke, she is broken, I even barely recognize her, there's no life in her eyes, she so fragile, all she did just crying, never in my life I imagine found Cristina in that state, you and Meredith broke her, I don't know what she did to you both, until you hurt her that way, now she start to build her new life, please just leave her alone, because you just keep hurting her again and again". Owen tears just fall from his eyes hearing all of Izzie word, then he wipe his own tears, "Okay Steven, thank you so much for accompany her for this long", "you welcome, I'll drive you back to the airport".

Cristina finish sign all the paper for her share transaction with Ms Avery, the money just send to her back account, now she has more than enough money to build a new life in London.

Cristina feel comfortable work in London, the people is nice, place is beautiful and most important she finally hold a heart again, time just pass by, without she realize it's been two month she live in London, then she got flu, she not feeling well, she remember last time, she feel this way when she get pregnant, she check with test pack, it turn positive, then she went to obgyn to get ultrasound, she know that the baby already in her uterus for 10 weeks, she can't believe it, it keep happen again and again, she think god put some of joke of her, she don't know what to do, the first person in her mind just Owen, because she really shock with the news, she start thinking stupid, she promises to herself if Owen pick her phone she will let him know that she carry his baby, but if not she will terminate the baby, because there is no way she will raise the baby alone by herself in London. She call him, but in third beep he still don't pick up, then a woman voice answer his phone, "hello", she suddenly hung up, she never expected that other woman will pick Owen phone, she start crying she don't know what to do.

* * *

Owen busy in operate patient, his phone ring, he ask nurse to pick, nurse pick up his phone, but then the phone is disconnect," who is that?", " I don't know sir, the phone just disconnect".

* * *

Cristina try to calm down, in next day she start to think clearly, god must be have a reason to keep make her pregnant, for this long she doesn't has person anymore, and she realize that right now, she has a person grown inside of her, it's make her feel amazing, she decided to keep the baby, then she call her mother, then tell her that she pregnant, but the baby doesn't have a father, unexpectedly her mother accept wisely, she ask her to come back to los angles, "I really want to have a grandchildren from you Cristina, it's okay, I'll help you to raise the baby, you are not alone anymore babe, promise me you will keep the baby until you arrive here", Cristina feel relive that her mother accept her condition then she call Izzie, "Izzie, I'm pregnant", Izzie so happy hear the news "what? That's amazing news, who is the father Cristina?", "it's Owen", I don't know what to do Izzie, I hate him so much, I don't want to deal with him anymore, and I just call my mother, she asked me to come back, she said that she'll help me raise the baby", "Cristina, I also will help you, and I'll try talk to Dr William to get you job when you get back here, Cristina please take care of yourself and the baby, and I understand that you don't want to deal with him anymore, you have to remember one thing, it's is your baby, not Owen, you the one who carry the baby, not him, so you don't have obligation to tell him, he the one who kick you from his life". "yes, you are right Izzie, I estimated that I will come back in the next two month, I still have lot of work to do in here, by the way, thank you so much for your support Izzie" ." that's what friends for, Cristina"


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: English not my native language, please understand grammatical error.

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It's been two month since Owen come back from los angles, he try to accept the reality that Cristina gone, and it's better for her even though himself is hurt because she is love of his live, Meredith never speak to him since she shout him in his room, they only speak if it matter of job, this situation make people around them not comfortable, today is schedule for annual board of meeting to evaluate of hospital performance, on the meeting they discuss about, annual budget for next year, Cristina share that already taking over by Harper Avery foundation and review Owen performance as chief of surgery, suddenly Meredith propose to pick new chief of surgery, the other member board reject it because they think Owen still the best person to sit in that position, then Avery speak in meeting, "Meredith, stop punishing him, he not only person caused Cristina to leave, I still remember last day her in this hospital, Cristina cry by herself, she exactly said that you both hate her, and you both want her to disappear from your life, so stop blaming him, and enough talked about Cristina, she already gone".

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Cristina sit on her seat, she took a executive class so she can comfortable in long flight, she already finish her work in London for four months, she apologize for the chief that she can't finish her contract, and fortunately they understood, then a man sit beside her, he looks around 60's, he warmly greet Cristina, "Hi, I'm Paul" then shake Cristina hand, "I'm Cristina". Cristina then feels a bit nervous when plane start to take off, then she caress her belly, lately she used doing that, Paul notice that, "are you pregnant?, where's your husband?", Cristina just smile to respond his question. "I'm sorry I tend to speak a lot on flight, I hate being in the plane, so if I annoy you, please just stop me", Cristina with smile, answers "it's okay, I also hate plane". "so what is your work Cristina?", "I'm cardio surgeon, you?". "that's awesome, I'm former psychology lecturer on Stanford university, I retired three years ago, then remarried with a nice British woman, I live in London since then, so why you heading to los angles Cristina?". "I move to work in LA". Cristina just answer with short answer because she don't know what to say, but she glad that Paul always initiate the conversation, she doesn't want to spend ten hours just silent and that's make her more anxious, she try to makes conversation "so, why you heading to LA Paul?", Paul looks happy that Cristina start to enjoy their conversation, " I want to visit my daughter, she is a famous lawyer in LA, last week she called me, she said that she pregnant for eight and half month, I quite surprise because for this long she never call me, she even don't call me when she get married, then I just found out that she get divorced, Stella is ambitious, really passionate for her job, I'm proud of her , when I know she through this pregnancy by herself, I want to be by her side when she get labor", Cristina take a deep breath hearing Paul story, looks like Stella has similarity with her, "how long your pregnancy Cristina?", "it's almost five months", "are you already know, the gender?", "not yet, last time I check, the position of the baby it's difficult to see", hmm, Paul, I'm sorry before, may I ask about your feeling when you find out Stella pregnant without a husband? Are you disappointed with her?". "No, not at all, I appreciated and proud of her decision to keep the baby, I love her so much Cristina, you know, a nature relationship between father and daughter, where most father has strong bond with their daughter, me and Stella really close until she get to college, then she busy with her new life, I'm fine with it, she is a independent woman now, but in my eyes she still my lovely daughter, which I want to protect until I die", Cristina smile with his answer, she miss her father, if her father still life, he must be do the same thing with Paul, her eyes start teary, since she pregnant she get easily touch for a simple thing, "are you okay Cristina?" Paul ask with concern, "yeah, I'm fine, she wipe her tears, you make me remember of my father, he died when I'm nine, in car accident with me, that's why I decided to be surgeon, I want to save people lives", "your father, must be proud of you Cristina", Cristina never enjoy conversation with stranger, except Paul, they talked about lot thing, he tell her about experience during lecture on Stanford, Cristina also tell about the shooter, and the plane crashes, maybe because he is psychologist, he know how to make people comfort, during ten hours flight Cristina find a new best friend, she found a father figure that she miss on him, without they realize the plane soon depart on LAX, they separated when get the taxi.

Cristina push the bell, her mom welcome her surprise, "Cristina, why you didn't tell me you comes today, I can pick you up honey", "I'm home mom, I miss you" she hug her mom tightly, her mom caress her belly, Cristina smile to her, then she enter the house, she so tired, she plan go to her room, her mom stop her," I move your stuff on guess room in first floor, so you don't need take a stair anymore, and take a bath soon, I'll prepare food for you, "I'm fine mom, I already take food on the plane", "no, Cristina, you have to eat before take a rest, remember you have baby now" Cristina stop her mom nag with kiss her cheek, "Okay mom". She knows she will hear lot of nag from her mom in future, but she like it, she happy because she is home now.

* * *

Cristina wake up in morning, she take a bath then she go to the kitchen, Martha already prepared pancake and orange juice for her, her mom went to hospital with Saul, after take breakfast she watching tv, she feel boring, then she decided go to supermarket with taxi, she want to buy lot of snack, since she pregnant she craving for chips, she know it's not healthy but she can't help it, to balance it she also eat lot of fruit and vegetable, after picking lot of snack, Cristina went to frozen section, Martha ask her to buy some meat and chicken, on her way, from behind she saw, a man get scold by couple, she can hear the woman shout " look how pity you are now, just eating cereal every day, that's what you get when you only prioritize you job than your family", Cristina walk closely to them, because they stand near chicken section, she find, that Dr William is the one who get humiliated in front of public, she just impulsively walk to them and say " honey, there you are, I've been looking for you everywhere" then put her hand to William waist, William startle but then he realize soon what Cristina doing to help him, he also try to sell it, he kiss Cristina forehead "I'm sorry, honey, let me introduce you to my ex-wife Samantha, and her new boy friend Kevin smith" Cristina offer her hand to hand shake with Samantha "I'm Cristina yang" then she shake Kevin hand, suddenly Kevin spoke, "I know you, Dr Yang, six month ago you operate my father in Seattle," oh yeah I remember, are Mr Bryan smith is fine now?". " he is doing god, thanks to you, I'm sorry William, please excuse us" then Kevin drag Samantha out from there, they watch them to make sure they really gone, after that they let big laugh, William really grateful that Cristina save him from the humiliation in front of public, he offer Cristina drive to her home, in car Cristina start to ask about his ex-wife, " I married with her for three years, at beginning she can accept that our job as a doctor is time consuming, I really passionate about my research and I put all my focus on that project, I win Harper Avery that year, But I also lose my married", then Cristina answer "you suppose to happy that she scold you, that's mean she still care about you, mine not, my ex-husband even never mention me to his new girlfriend , which we work in same hospital, as if last few years we together is nothing and meaningless" Cristina let deep sigh," looks like your life is so complicated Cristina, hmm may I call you Cristina now, I thing we quite close to call each other first name because we sharing about our private life". "okay Jason, its fine, we friends now, by the way, can I start work in hospital tomorrow, I felt boring doing nothing at house", "you can, but are you sure you ready to work, you just come yesterday from London", "yes I'm sure chief" . "may I asked about your pregnancy Cristina? How long your pregnancy goes?, "its okay, it almost five month now, because I have petite body, my baby bump is not obvious, and if you want ask who the father, the answer is, the father is dead". William can feel that Cristina hate talk about her baby daddy, so he change subject "okay then, I'll wait you tomorrow Dr Yang". Then he drops her on her house.

* * *

It's been two weeks Cristina work in keck hospital, she so busy with surgery, she really want to check her baby gender, but she promises Izzie that they will go together to the Obgyn with Dr Ally, finally that afternoon they can make it to have the ultrasound 3D, from the monitor she can see that she will has a baby boy, tears start streaming from Cristina eyes, she so happy, Izzie also feel happy then they hug together, they walk together to ER, Cristina still amaze see the 3D pict of her baby, then suddenly a middle age man enter ER and ask for help, his daughter in pain on the car, Izzie directly run to his car, to check the patient, is Stella, she already put in bed to examine, then Cristina Call the Obgyn to ER, Dr Ally come to ER, to check the her, Paul really panic, he keep said that Stella slip in the bathroom, and he directly carry her to the car, Cristina come to him to calm him, "Paul is okay, Stella in right hand", he surprise someone knew his name, then he see Cristina, he feel so relieve, he hug her, "I'm so worry Cristina", " I Know, but you knew that if you panicking like this also not helping her Paul", Paul take a deep breath he try to calm himself, Dr Ally finish examine Stella, she soon has to get c-section to deliver the baby, she also mention that Stella and the baby is fine, Paul need to sign the paper, Stella has operate with Dr Ally, Cristina accompany Paul in waiting room, she bought Paul a juice, he really thirsty, he drink half of it in one shot, Cristina see Paul put his hand on his heart, he look held the pain, she ask him "are you okay Paul?", "I'm fine, I just nervous", then Cristina take her 3D pics of her son from her pocket, she show it to Paul, I just find out that I will have baby boy, then he take the pict from her hand, he look to it, "congratulation Cristina you will have a son that will protect you in future", then he caress Cristina hair, "your dad must be proud of you Cristina", then nurse out from the OR with baby in incubator, "you wait here Paul, I'll see the baby, after you finish check Stella condition, meet me in NICU, Cristina stand beside baby Stella incubator, she can't take her eyes from the beautiful creature in front of her, the baby is so adorable, she check all her vital, the bay is healthy, then Paul stand beside her, tears fall from his eyes, "Cristina she is so adorable, I'm so happy right now", then suddenly Paul fall, Cristina check his pulse, the nurse help him to get in the bed, "charge on 300" no respond, "charge 360" then they get Paul pulse, Cristina soon ask nurse prepare for OR, she can see that Paul already has surgery before from the operation scar on his chest, she start to operate him, while she try to fix his heart, suddenly he get v-vib, Cristina start to massage his heart but, no respond, she feel frustrate while keep massage his heart "you have to get back Paul, you just get a beautiful grandchild, you daughter need you, you have to fight for them, come on Paul", Cristina shout in her sobbing, the resident that help her scrub in, hold Cristina hand, "it's over Dr yang, let him go", William watch all the scene soon go to OR to get Cristina, she out from OR throw her operation scrub, tears keeps fall from her eyes, then when she see William outside OR door, she run to him then hug him, he hug her back, then bring Cristina to the on-call rooms, Cristina bury her face on William chest, and William caress her hair," I don't know, how to tell Stella that her father, is die", "are you close with this family?", "no, I just met him on plane last few weeks, he make me remember my late father, and Stella, also a single mom like me, I felt so connect with this family, Paul is a great man", " are you want me to tell Stella about this?", "no, I will" Cristina take his face from William chest. She wipe her tears, and then stand up, William follow her from behind, Cristina enter Stella room, she hold her daughter, she feel little shock look at Cristina, she can see that she just finish crying, "Stella, I'm Dr Yang", "oh ya, I Know you ,my father has talk about you before, what happen Dr yang?", "I'm sorry", tears start fall from her eyes ' your dad just get heart attack when see your daughter in NICU, and I can't help him"," what? You say that my father is died?" Stella start sobbing, the nurse beside her take the baby from Stella hand, "I'm really sorry Stella", "did he saw my daughter? ", Cristina wipe her tears before answered it "yeah, he so happy until he cry, he said that, you daughter is adorable and he proud of you before he fell", "okay then Cristina, stop blame yourself, he is happy in heaven now, he already fulfill his wish accompany me when I get labor, and he saw his adorable granddaughter" then Stella pull Cristina, she then hug her, Stella caress Cristina belly, then say "you, have to be strong Cristina, I know this not easy, but you have to try for your baby". Cristina nod to her.

* * *

Since Paul cases, Cristina try to be more focus on her job, her mom, Izzie and William is always nag to her about to her lack attention for her own healthy for over working, when she at home her mom is the one nag her, when she is in hospital Izzi and William will scold her, they become best friend, since then Izzi and William take charge for prepare her food and vitamin when she in hospital, Cristina in her seven moths pregnancy right now, last night she just finish for seven hours surgery, she so tired, until she skip dinner, at morning William put her breakfast and vitamin on her table, he search for her, Cristina still has deep sleep in on-call room, then he get pages, Cristina also get pages, she wake up then straightaway go to ER, she get cardiac tamponade case, after she relieve the pressure on his heart, she take the patient to OR to search the caused, William get brain death patient, he check Cristina in on-call room, then go to her room, her food and vitamin still there, then he check all the OR, he found Cristina in middle of surgery, he ask doctor in gallery, how long Cristina been there, it's almost two hours, he worry with Cristina, he really care about her, he start felt something for her since she help him on supermarket accident, but he afraid to tell her his feeling because he afraid that Cristina will reject him, then the thing that being his concern happen, he see Cristina body shaking, then she get faint, he run to the OR, he carry her to the bed and bring her to Obgyn, Dr Ally confirm that she just exhausted, Wiliam so relieve.

Cristina wake up from deep sleep, she found William sleep with his head on her bed, and he hold Cristina hand, Cristina take her hand, then start caress William hair, he wake up, he can't help his heart anymore, then he start speak to her, "Please stop make me worry about you, you exactly know that your mom, Izzie and me really care about you", tears fall from his eyes, "I like you, I love you Cristina, can't you feel my heart", Cristina also start to teary, "but. I don't deserve you Jason, you are perfect, and I'm complicated, you suppose to fell to better woman than me", "you are perfect for me, I love everything about you, please let me love you Cristina, let me be a man in your life", he wipes tears from Cristina eyes, kiss her forehead, then kiss her lips, she respond his kiss passionately, she give space in her bed for William, he take of his shoes, then get the bed besides Cristina, he put her arm under Cristina head, she bury her head in William chest, she take his hand then kiss it, promise me, that you'll never hurt me, I won't Cristina, he kiss Cristina lips one more time, then they both hug tightly.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: English is not my native language, i'm sorry for grammar error**

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It's 2 pm Cristina sleep peacefully on William embrace, then his page buzzing, he try to take his arm carefully from her head so Cristina didn't wake up, he kiss her forehead before leave to ER, Cristina wake up just after William walk out from her room, she regretting with what happen before, she know she suppose to reject him, this all too soon and she didn't feel the same way with him, but it feel so right when he kiss her lips, Cristina call her mom to pick her up, she want to go out from hospital soon as possible.

Cristina just silent on her way to home, her mom keep nagging to her because she to reckless about her own health, after get clean and eat, Cristina went to her room to take a rest, her phone ring, its Izzie, "yes, what's up Izzie?", " I just heard you get faint in OR, are you okay? Where are you now? ", "I'm fine Izzie, my mother pick me up, I'm home now, Dr Ally said I just exhausted, nothing to worry about", "thank's god, I'm so worry about you", "Izzie, can I ask you about Dr William?", "about what Cristina?", "anything you know about him, you been work with him almost four years", "well, he is divorce with his wife two years ago, since then I didn't see him with any woman, surgery is his life, he is really devoted to work just like you but minus the rudeness, and heartless, he nice to all doctor and staff, but I think he also didn't socialize enough in this hospital, you know, he is busy as chief, his research and the patient, but since you were here he little bit different, he cared about you, I think he is like you Cristina, do you like him? I can be make a match you with him", Izzie chuckle, "no, Izzie, I want take rest now, bye" she hung up.

At eight pm William go to Cristina room but he only find empty room, he ask the nurse in that floor, she said that Cristina already go home since this afternoon, he wonder why Cristina didn't call him when she left, he so busy since afternoon, VIP patient has been admitted he is one of house of representative of Ohio, he got atherosclerosis, actually doctor in this hospital can handle that case, but the patient family insist for his private doctor to come to do the Surgery, he approve it because there nothing he can do except provide the facility, he call Cristina few times but she didn't pick up, he assume she already sleep. Then he went to his room.

Cristina stare to her phone, William called for few times, but she don't want to pick up, she not ready, she feel guilty because give him false alarm, it's all not right and not fair for him.

William busy sign the paper in front him, someone knock on his door, "welcome Dr Burke, it's long flight from Cleveland to los angles", "thank you Dr William, yes, but this patient is really close with me, besides I used get case like this with my private patient", "okay then, I'll bring you to the patient room", after checking the patient burke said that he will do the surgery tomorrow morning, he have to catch a flight at 2 pm.

Cristina wake up in morning, she can't sleep well, she thought about William, she need talk to him, before it gone too far, after breakfast she planning what will she say to him, then she go to hospital at noon, she walk to William room.

"Thank you so much for your help Dr Burke"," you welcome Dr William, I'm sorry, I have to leave soon, I have other appointment with my other patient in Cleveland this night, so I leave my patient to you, he is stable after the surgery", "okay then we will follow up about his condition to you latter", then he walk out from William room.

"Cristina", "Burke", "what you doing here, I thought you're in London, and you are pregnant?, Oh my god, I can't believe it" , Burke is really shock. Then Cristina walk to him then hug him," I miss you too". "I still have few minute to get coffee with you, let's go to café", burke take Cristina hand with him, William watch the entire scene from his room.

Burke order a coffee for him and tea for Cristina, he put drinks on the table, "so, don't tell me you screw with your boss one more times", "ha, it's funny" Cristina answer sarcastically, "but, it's kind a true, or not", "come on tell me Cristina, don't tell me it's your ex-husband", Cristina shock with burke word, but she try to cover it, "no, It's not, there no father, it just me and my baby, I move here so I can live with my mother to help me through it all" while caress her belly, "okay then, does anybody tell you that you look so lovely when you pregnant , I'm so proud and happy for you Cristina, if you need my help for anything please just call me" while put his hand on her, but she take her hand from him, "thank you, I really appreciate it, burke", burke can understand how hard this all for her, he really want to help her, but he don't know what to do. He checks his watch, he need to go now, or he'll miss his flight, he hugs her tightly before said good bye to Cristina.

After seeing Cristina hugging Burke in front of his rooms, William go to ER, he looking for Izzie, he can't help his curiosity about Cristina and Burke, he saw Izzie sit in ER station, "Dr Steven, do you know, what relation between Cristina and Dr Burke?", Izzie little surprise with his question but she answer right away "about five or six years ago they have engaged, then Burke left her in the aisle, and actually I think Burke is nice to everybody , he just mean to Cristina", "okay, thank you for the information Dr Steven" then William just left her, "you welcome", Izzie answer with wondering.

William searching for Cristina, he sew Burke hug Cristina before leaving, she just sit in café drink her tea, William take sit in front of her, Cristina let deep sigh seeing William in front of her, "I called you last night, but u didn't pick up my call", "yeah sorry, that's why I'm here, I looking for you, then I met my mentor on the way", "your mentor?", William little bit upset because she lied, "actually he is also my ex fiancée, he leave me on the aisle, but I already get over it, we just friend now, and this is why I want to talk with you, you don't know me at all, Jason", William feel relieve Cristina speak honest to him "no, I know you for more than three month Cristina", " no, you don't, you only know, a pregnant me, me with unstable emotion and hormonal pregnant woman, this all not me, the real me is rude, mean, and heartless, in my life my job is everything for me, my life is so complicated, I'm complicated woman, you will not fall for me when you see the real me".

That's why I fell in love with you, we are in same page, surgery is our passion, our life, my ex-wife will never left me, if she understand that, I understand you, and I believe you will understand me too, and we still have lot of time to know each other in the future, I remember when you said you become surgeon because of your father, I want you to hear my story, I get liver cancer when I'm seventeen, my family has hemochromatosis genes, my grandfather died with heart failure because of it when he is forty five , my dad died with cancer liver when he is forty two , and me when seventeen years old dying, thank god I get perfect liver transplant in right time, I live healthy since then, I know how it feeling when you dying, then I promises to myself that I will help to save live in future, people expecting doctor like us will end up life with loneliness when we die, there is no family because we just spent our life in OR, I don't want fulfill their expectation, I believe that if we try we can have both family and carrier, one thing you should know, you are perfect for me Cristina.

But it's all not fair for you, I carry somebody else baby, if we force it all we just end up hurting each other in future.

"I don't have any plan to hurt you now and in future, I just want you to let me to love you, I'll be glad if you let me be father of your son, I always want to be a father, but I will be really selfish if I force to have my own child because the bad genes I carried, I know how hard all the radiation, chemo, and surgery during my teenager, time where I suppose to enjoy my life, but I'm not, I almost kill myself because I can't held that's all, I don't force you to love me, or to answer my feeling for you now, please just give me chance, I'll prove that I will be the right man for you", then his pager buzz, "I have to go now, please consider about what we talk before" then he stand kiss Cristina hair.

Cristina watch him leave, she caress her belly, "please tell me what to do baby, mama have no idea what to do", then she felt the kicking on her belly, Cristina smile.

**A/N: i really want to say thank you for all the review and comment on my fanfiction, it motivated me to write new chapter ^_^**


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: English is not my native language, i'am sorry for grammatical error

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Calli knock and enter chief room, while Owen busy reading some document, "Owen, stop bury you self in your office, I already set you a date tonight with Anna, she a midwife from third floor", "what? why did you do that?" Owen flustered, "I keep feeling guilty for ruin your relationship with Emma, if I not over spoken that time, you must be life happily right now".

Owen let a sigh "Calli, I don't like you get involve in my personal life, besides I don't blame you at all about my relationship with Emma, she can't accept my past, there's nothing I can do, and what you did make me realize there no woman in this world accept me with my dark side except Cristina".

" enough Owen. It's more than seven month she left us, you should move on, I believe she already over us, where ever she is now", " I almost meet her in Los Angeles before she went to Europe, but I just met dr Steven", What? you met Izzie".

"yes, she confirm that I really hurt Cristina, and ask me to leave her alone, I just want to know she doing fine in Europe, but it almost seven month, she didn't publish anything, not even report of her recent surgery or any research, that's not Cristina I know, it make me more worry, now I know that I hurt myself when I blame her for ruin my life", "stop punishing yourself Owen, Cristina is strong woman, she will get through it all, you should start your new life, just go meet Anna tonight", "I can't, Cristina is love of my life, I'll never love another woman, so please, never involve on my personal life anymore, now please out from my room"

* * *

Cristina start work today after takes three day off, she enter hospital with happy face, she hated doing nothing at home, she check new patient was admitted in hospital, and she schedule surgery for valve replacement this afternoon, after finish consult with patient she go to ER looking for Izzie, but she can't find her, Cristina ask the nurse where Izzie is, "dr Steven probably in gallery OR 1, watch dr William surgery, he has big surgery today dr Yang", Cristina walk to OR 1, where gallery full of intern and resident doctor, Izzie sit in front row, she call her, Izzie ask intern who sit beside her to get off, then call Cristina to sit beside her, "dr William has patient with tumor in his spine, it very difficult surgery, it may took long time to operate", Cristina answered," I have seen Derek do similar surgery, he succeeded save patient live and his foot, Which one better William or Derek?", "what? It quite hard to choose, Derek has saving my life, but I think both of them a really good neurosurgeon, but with Harper Avery award, dr William slightly win than Derek", Cristina smiles hear Izzie answer.

she quietly watch William from gallery, seeing William in that OR, make her heart beat fast, she can't deny that William already touch her heart, remember how William take care of her since she come to this hospital, and William confession few days ago make her happy, it's been long time she feel being loved again.

they sit in gallery about an hour then she ask Izzie to get lunch together, while they walk together Cristina feel the baby kick, and she takes Izzie hand to feel it, "can you feel it?, lately he do that a lot" Cristina take a deep breath, Izzie smile she answer "yes, I can feel it, baby please don't hurt your mama, don't worry we will get you food soon", Izzie chuckle, then she take Cristina hand, they walk arm in arm together.

while they eat, Izzie ask her, "when you will takes a maternal leave?"," I don't know, maybe I'll be here until next month", "are you plan to have baby shower? I can arrange it for you", "no, Izzie, I'm sorry, you know I'm not comfortable for that such of thing", Cristina can see that Izzie disappointed for her rejection, she takes her hand "you know, I'm so grateful l that I have you here, you are my best friend Izzie, and I hope you will be honor to be godmother of my baby".

Izzie can't hide her happiness, "of course I will, I think I'll start to knit tomorrow for my future my godson, I'll teach you how knit tomorrow Cristina because you will get bored doing nothing while you maternity leave, knitting will be good thing to kill time", "okay, sound good idea Izzie", after get lunch they separated because Cristina has to prepare for her surgery.

Cristina spend five hours in surgery, her back is hurt after stand for long time, she realize her body is weaker now, she really hungry, she go to café to get some sandwich and juice, she took the food to on-call room.

she quite surprise found William lie on the bed, William also surprise hear the door open, when he see Cristina, soon he wake, then sit on side bed, Cristina take a sit beside of him, then offer him a sandwich, he take it, she start conversation "how long you here?, what about your patient?", "about five minute, I success take the tumor, he is stable now, what about your surgery?", "going well, she also stable, uhh my back is hurt after stand for five hours, I felt like old lady now", hearing Cristina word make William laugh and then make him choke with sandwich his eat, Cristina also laugh to see him then give him her juice, Cristina take off her shoes, she lean on the wall, William follow her, sit beside her, Cristina put her head on William arm, William grasp her hand, and he can feel Cristina grasp back, then he put his head on her, it all so simple but now William know that Cristina will let him to enter her life.

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A/N: sorry for short chapter, I'll make a proper update tomorrow ^_^


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: english not my native language, i'm sorry for grammatical error

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Cristina and William wake from their comfort sleep with their pager buzz, they had sleep for three hours, both of them get call from ER, "you have good sleep?", William asked, Cristina nod with smile, William give her kiss on forehead, both of them walking together to ER, William help her to tied her scrub when waiting for ambulance, they have three patient victim crashes, one of them get internal bleeding which already send to OR 2 with general surgeon, the other one just has broken leg and unfortunately last of the victim get brain dead, Cristina ask the resident, to look information whether the patient is a donor, and William also ask him to watch the patient for next six hours, before declare official time of death.

William look at his watch, it's 10.20 pm, he ask Cristina out to get late dinner, because both of them didn't get proper dinner before, Cristina reject it because they on call duty tonight, it's inappropriate even just for short time, but then she propose to order pizza, William agreed, they eat on sofa in chief room, William ask her about her next schedule to visit dr Ally , "it next two weeks, why?", "may I accompany you?", "okay".

After finish eats, they separated to check their own patient, before back to on-call room.

Cristina already lied on the bed when William come, he take places besides her, he caress her hair, "When you will take you maternity leave?", "I don't know, I'll wait for dr Ally recommendation", "I'll miss you so much when you leave", "you can visit me anytime Jason, now while I'm by your side you have to take care of me", "I will" he pull Cristina into his embrace, she hug him back.

Izzie looking for Cristina, She quite surprise find her cuddling with William in on-call room, then she close the door quietly.

She confront her in the morning, Cristina can't hide her nervousness, Izzie found it amusing, She understand that Cristina not type of people that sharing about her personal life, in deep her heart, she happy for her, she deserve to beloved after all the hard time she had been through, then Cristina finally speak," just few days ago he told me, that he love me, I don't know about my own feeling to him, but it feel so right when we were together", Izzie hug her, "I'm happy for you, he a nice guy", she hug her back, "thank you, right now, my baby, my mom, you and William are the important people in my life"

Two weeks just past, William really take care of Cristina, he don't allow her to do solo surgery for more than four hours, if it really urgent situation, he ask fellow doctor to assist her, people in hospital start gossiping about their relationship, they just don't care.

William feel so nervous when they walk together to dr Ally rooms, Cristina ask him, "are you okay?, if you don't feel comfortable, I can go by myself", "I'm fine, I just so happy, that you allow me to accompany you for it", when dr Ally show the ultrasound, William feel so amazed, it not his first time watch the ultrasound but it feel different because the baby is carried by the woman that he loved, then dr Ally recommend her to take maternal leave soon as possible, the baby condition is good, it just is become so hard for Cristina to keep work in this state. After visit dr Ally, on their way William ask her to start her day off tomorrow, Cristina nod, "I'm gonna miss you", "I'll miss you a lot Cristina" he kiss her on lips in front lot of doctor and nurse.

Cristina come back from shopping with her mother, they bought lot thing, because she didn't buy any preparation before for her and the baby, maybe for next couple day they will spend time for shopping, Cristina don't understand with this kind of stuff, so she let Helen to decides all thing they need, she just need to take her card, Helen so excited for this all, she want to do this since few month ago but Cristina didn't allow her, Helen put all the stuff they buy in room on second floor, she can't wait to arrange the room because she already has in mind about the design of baby rooms, Cristina feel so grateful seeing her mom support her for everything.

A week since she busy shopping and prepared the thing she will need when she get labor, William call her, he want to visit her, in that evening Cristina tell her mom, that she has a boyfriend now, Helen surprise "is he, the father of your baby?", "no, mom, he the one who help me, when I fell from the stair plane when I'm back from new York", "he such a great man, because accept you, even you carried other man baby", "yes mom, I like to introduce him to you", "okay, I also eager to meet him".

They spend good time on dinner, William easily get close with her family, Helen also like him so much, because he so gentleman, and she can see that William really love and care to her daughter.

Cristina spend most of her time at home with knitting, she make a dark blue sweater, she needs a few days to finish it, and that morning she finish it, she go to second floor to put it in baby rooms, when she on the stair she don't realize her water broke, she slip, and fall from the stair, she ask for help, but her mother go with Saul this morning, and Martha go out to throw a garbage, she drag herself while hold the pain near the sofa to takes her phone, only one man in her mind that time, she call Owen, but before she answer Owen voice she fall unconscious.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: english is not my native language, i'am sorry for grammatical error, this chapter is rated M**

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"Hello?, hello?, who's this?", Owen hung up his phone then continue with his work.

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Martha enter the house from back door, then she found Cristina lie on the floor, she run to her, check her pulse, then she call 911 and then she call her mom.

Cristina with Martha in ambulance comes to hospital, Izzi, dr Ally and William already waiting for her, Cristina still unconscious, after examine her dr Ally decides to do emergency C-section to deliver the baby, Izzie stay to held her head during surgery, and William accompany her mom in waiting room, after forty minute, the nurse bring her baby to NICU, William ask the nurse about the baby and Cristina in NICU, the nurse answer "thank god the baby is fine, but dr Yang still in surgery because dr Ally can't stop her bleeding", William so worry hear the news, he runs to the OR, when he enter the room, dr Ally already handle anything, "she is fine dr William", Izzie inform him while stand from her sit, "I'll tell Helen about her condition", William so relieve, he come near Cristina, he can't held his tears, while kiss her forehead, all people in that room know, that he love Cristina so much.

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Cristina watch Owen holds a baby in his arm, he so happy until his tears fall from his eyes, then he kiss a woman, but that's not her, she saw Owen kiss Emma, and she by herself holds a baby in her arm, then the scene when last time she meet Owen rewind, "you ruin me, Cristina, you ruin my life, I regret that I have had love you, I wish you disappear from my life", Cristina cry so hard while hold her baby.

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Cristina wake from her nightmare, She find William sleep on the chair beside her bed holding her hand, Izzie lied in sofa, and she also saw a baby box in her room, she shake his hand while call him "Jason", William suddenly wake up, "thank god you conscious, I'm so worry about you " while kiss her on the lips, then William help her to sit, "where's my baby?" she ask weakly, "your baby is fine, hold on second" he takes the baby from the box, then bring to her, "he really wonderful baby, he has you hair and your eyes" while give the baby to her arm, Cristina can't hold her tears because she hold her own son for the first times, it feel so amazing, she fall in love in first sight seeing her baby, "he is wonderful William", "yes, he is" then kiss her forehead, they don't realize that Izzie capture that beautiful moment with her phone.

Cristina still can't hold her baby for long time she still in recovery for her post surgery, William takes the baby from her, then sit on the sofa, while Izzie sit beside her, "how you feeling Cristina?", "Amazing, pain, and tired", Izzie chuckle, "you make us so worry, so are you already have name for your son?", "it's Nathan Andrew yang". "Nathan is name of the baby that make my life change, Andrew is my father name" , "Nathan is cool name" William respond, while kiss Nathan on his arm, Cristina see that as beautiful moment, she believe that William will be wonderful father for him, then she remember her nightmare, she believed that dream is sign for her to erase Owen forever from her life.

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After stay in hospital for a week, Cristina discharge from hospital with her mother, Helen already hire a baby sitter to help Cristina, Cristina feel sad because her breast don't produce milk to feed Nathan, so Nathan drink milk from bottle, Helen assure Cristina that is fine, because, she also can't produce milk when Cristina born, and she keep growth perfectly and smart, it took time for Cristina to adjust her new life with Nathan in it, after two weeks she get used with his schedule to wake up in middle of the night, to feed him and change his diaper, it not that hard for her because she familiar with crazy schedule when she has on-call duty in hospital, besides she really love spend time with Nathan, he really adorable and not whine baby, seeing him growth every day, it amusing for her, she still not yet full recovery after her post surgery, so her mother and baby sitter help her a lot during a day, but in night she take full charge of Nathan, now she understand about how irrational sometimes parent when it comes about their children, she also can't imagine if something bad happened to her son in future.

William always comes to visit Cristina when he has day off, he love spending time with her and Nathan, and Cristina felling also growth day by day for him, after two month Cristina ready to back to work, besides she miss to hold scalp, but she also can't separate with Nathan for long time so she only takes a day shift, so she can take care Nathan at night.

After a month she can adjust perfectly about her job and time with Nathan, then she get email invitation from Harper Avery to attend ceremonial this year in New York for next three days, then she ask William whether he also get invitation, William answer "yes, why?", "I ask my mother, if she can take care Nathan for two days, and she agreed, I hope that we can go to New York together, as long I recall, we never have time only for both of us", Cristina whisper on his ear, William can't hide his smile, imagine about wonderful time they will spend together in New York, because for this long they only have make out because of Cristina pregnancy, "okay, so we will depart in next two days to New York, I'll take care of everything", the he give her a deep kiss on her lips.

William pick Cristina at morning to the airport, she don't forget to give Nathan a lot of kiss, because she will miss him so much, but his mother also need a vacation, when they get their seat, William ask her, "are you still nervous get on the plane?", "little", "its fine I'll hold your hand during the flight", she hold his hand and put her head on his arm, for first time, she feel save and enjoy during the flight since the plane crashes accident.

William check in on the hotel where the ceremonial held, it's five star hotel, he takes room on the 23 floor with of view of central park, after he put her bag on the room, William smile and lean down to kiss Cristina, it was a chaste kiss, soon his kiss become more hungry and demanding, then he reach his tongue into her, he remove her coat, and she also doing the same, until she leave only with her bra and panties, and William with his black boxer, he hold her to the bed, he bit her lower lip to get access inside her mouth, then caress her tongue with him, she moaned at the feeling, while her hand went back to his dark hair, his lips move to her neck, and collar bone kissing ,licking and sucking it, he picked up her body to unclasp her bra, he lick her nipple and suck it gently, while her hand playing on his hair , which make him suck harder, that make her moaned loudly, while his other hand playing with her other breast, pinching and tweezing the nipple, he move his kisses between her chest, then to scar of surgery of her belly, he move his hand to her sex, feeling the moistness he created, then he pull her panties down slowly, he kiss and suck her clitoris, she can't take it anymore, she get orgasm.

Then she take her turn to satisfy him, she pull him up, then put herself on top of him, she kiss him passionately, from his lips, his neck and tease him with kisses use her tongue to lick him, then she pull his boxer, his penis already pre ejaculating, she use her thumb to softly rub the tip off his penis in round motion, then wrap her mouth around his penis, suck it with slow pace, William moan "oh my god, it feel so good Cristina", then he stop her, he can't wait anymore to taste inside of her, he put her on the bed, so that he the one who have control now, he kisses her on the mouth very sweetly, while caress her cheeks, "I love you so much Cristina", "I love you too Jason", then he thrusts his body to her, so finally he can be inside her, they making love with all of their heart, until both of them reach in same time, he hold her very tightly, she also hold him back tightly, their feeling is so strong until both of them get tears of happiness.

Both of them fall sleep after has few session of sex, Cristina sleep peacefully on William embrace, then his phone ring, he soon get up, so he didn't disturb Cristina sleep, he get dress, and leave note on the table to Cristina, he go out, for meeting his friend.

Cristina wake up, but she can't find William, then she notice the note he left, then she call her mother to checking out Nathan, she take a robe from the bathroom, she walk to the balcony, enjoy the view of sunset from her room, she remember exactly one year ago how awful her life,that she really hurt, lonely, but now she really happy with wonderful baby, good relation with her mom, man that love her and best friend she can count at. Cristina really enjoy the view it's so beautiful evening the red light that fall all around the city, she don't realize William already back, he give her back hug, Cristina little surprise, then she hold his hand in her belly, "where you go before?", Cristina asked, then William take his hand from her, then kneeling in front of her," I go out to get this" he take a box of ring from his pocket, "Cristina yang, will you be honor to be my wife?", Cristina can't hold the tears in her eyes, she feel so happy, " yes, I will" William also the same, he stand up put the ring on her finger, then kiss her passionately.


End file.
